W 1 Buy some pansies in a pot. Put them on your porch. Say yay!

Th 2 Check your pansies in the pot. The soil feels dry. Water them. Say yay!

Fr 3 Recheck your pansies in the pot. They look a little droopy. Re-water. Say yay!

Sa 4 Recheck your re-watered pansies in the pot. Discover ice in the soil. Add some warm water. Watch them expire. Say %^$#*!

Su 5 Go to church. Say sorry for swearing. And drop-kicking your pansies in the pot.

M 6 Start planning a Mother’s Day Brunch. Make a grocery list.

T 7 Go to the grocery store. Buy eggs for the Quiche, fruit for the salad, cheese for the crackers, juice for the drinks, butter for the rolls, flour for the cake and wet wipes.

W 8 Buy a cookbook.

Th 9 Commence cooking. Beat the eggs, cut the fruit, spread the cheese, swig some juice, eat some butter, spill some flour and wipe up with wet wipes.

F 10 Open the cookbook. Read some recipes.

Sa 11 Re-commence cooking. Re-beat the eggs, re-cut the fruit, re-spread the cheese, re-swig some juice, eat some more butter, spill some more flour, then run out of wet wipes. Re-read the recipes. Who needs a *#$!*% cookbook?

Su 12 Go to church. Thank God for mothers. Say sorry for swearing. And setting the cookbook on fire.

M 13 Decide to weed. Get mentally ready.

Tu 14 Continue getting mentally ready.

W 15 Feel mentally ready. Get physically ready.

Th 16 Continue getting physically ready.

F 17 Feel mentally and physically ready.

Sa 18 Buy some PREEN.

Su 19 Go to church. TG for weed killer.

M 2o Go to the Farmer’s Market for some flowers. Buy some flats.

Tu 21 Get ready to plant. Align your tools.

W 22 Go to the store for some tools.

Th 23 Get ready to plant. Align your new tools. Realize you need some bags of soil, a few pots, a watering can and some snazzy-new garden gloves. Go back to the store.

Fr 24 Get ready to plant. Align your new tools, grab the soil and pots, fill the watering can and put on your snazzy-new garden gloves. Change your outfit; it isn’t snazzy.

Sa 25 Plant! Plant some more! Plant until your whole body aches from planting; just plant!

Su 26 Go to church. Say sorry for limping and not kneeling. And not feeling snazzy.

M 27 Happy Memorial Day. God bless our Military.

Tu 28 Think Summer!

W 29 Think pink lemonade!

Th 30 Think sun lotion, swimsuits and swimming.

Fr 31 Watch it rain.